While in prayer or in my devotional time, I began to do some self-reflection about the person that I am today. You know how that goes…there are some characteristics about Carol that I don’t like and wanted to know how they developed. (OK, this isn’t easy for me…breathe Carol). Over time God began to unveil some seeds that were planted in my past that were not dealt with; therefore, developed into larger issues that at times (in the present) distorted my vision; my thoughts about “ME.” When God begins the process of allowing you to see the “man or woman” in the mirror, it’s not all pretty. And so, this piece was born as a beginning of my journey to my healing. Let me make this clear, sharing this through my writing is just the beginning of my journey to healing, but I’m willing to go. I’m willing to share if it will help others on their personal journey to healing.
As I share this intimate piece with you, the idea of this level of transparency is a little scary, but my prayer is that after you read it, it will help YOU to Break Free to be who God has called YOU to be. I’ve always believed that God will use your gifts to minister back to you, which is what writing does for me; it’s therapy.
There could be a myriad of reasons why we don’t reach our full potential. Some reasons could be we are too concerned about the opinions of others, instead of being concerned with “who does God say I am? Or “what is His plan for my life?” Or we haven’t reached our full potential because we are holding on to past hurts; unwilling to forgive; dealing with rejection or depression, etc. Everyone has a story.
As you read the piece below, I pray that God will minister to your heart, I decree that chains from your past will no longer hold you captive. I decree that you will be free…FREE TO BE WHO GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BE.
My final request: please don’t just skim over this and not share. This is very important to me. As you are led, please feel free to share with others.
Breaking Free to be Who God has Called ME to be: A journey to healing©
As I sit here I am holding back the tears; tears from brokenness over the years.
Broken from perceptions, broken by the words, fears, past and present days. A spirit of rejection resonate.
History of generational, relational, inherited pains. Pain that has left me limping, pains that remain…from my beginnings.
But you oh Lord, my Savior, your body was broken for me. SATAN, YOU MUST FLEE. Jehovah-Rapha, You are my God who heals thee.
Oh Lord, mend, heal the broken pieces of my heart, of my mind. Broken from the pain that I’ve allowed to rule and control me. Ohhh Lord…I’m burden down. I hear you Lord calling me to your presence, saying “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Rest my child, don’t you cry. Wipe the tears from your eyes.
Am I there yet? No I haven’t arrived. But I’m on this journey, determined to thrive.
Determined to win this battle in my mind that comes and collides. Colliding, in constant battle with the Word. Trying to pull me down into that pit…I’m fighting with every hit.
From the fiery darts that try to block me, but I have the shield of faith to protect me.
I’ll never forget that feeling…Feeling of loneliness, being misunderstood. To talk about it…”Ohhhh that doesn’t do any good.” I’m standing on His Word, with hands lifted to the sky, with the Lord my banner, I will defeat my enemy, praying to my God…Jehovah-Nissi.
You’d say, “they wouldn’t understand how I feel,” ohhh but I know someone that will.
This battle I’m in…a battle of depression; of disparity; this spirit of rejection SHALL NOT RULE OVER ME.
God is breaking every chain that had you bound…Can’t you hear the sound…A sound of victory…I’m free to be me…fearfully and wonderfully made…ME
I hear it Lord, the breaking of the bondage chains, freeing me from the slavery of my mind and replacing them with Your Word…words of life; removing the strife.
I AM NOT afraid to be who You have made me: a strong woman with hopes and dreams, with needs, vulnerabilities yet strong, confident and determined.
I make my declaration today, I am all that YOU SAY that I am. I am FREE TO BE ME.
AUTHOR: Carol A. Davis